Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Still Struggling

The Facebook support group I'd mentioned in the last post is still being used by a handful of people but I lost heart and haven't been on there much. Drinking water is a stronger habit since being a part of that group. Also, I'm still drinking smoothies for breakfast frequently as a result.

I have continued to crave sugar. I'll eat a perfectly healthy meal and immediately afterwards want something sweet. I typically want something with chocolate in it. Since I know chocolate cravings are the body asking for magnesium, I have been snacking on nuts, typically almonds or pistachios.

The stress surrounding me has decreased considerably. However, I still have moments where I get stressed and will sometimes end up eating whatever I want, which is typically junk food.

By Monday's weight check, I have gained back up to 217 pounds. I'm only 8 pounds away from my top weight. That and not being able to wear most of my clothes has caused a sense of desperation in me. I'm tired of my clothes being tight, feeling fat, seeing how terrible I look in the mirror, not being able to get dressed without mega stress, and just generally feeling terrible!

After weighing Monday, I decided to try a 3-day sugar fast. I started yesterday but wasn't able to eat without sugar for lunch (long story). Today is going well. I have also eaten very little carbs today trying to get my weight to drop so I can wear more than one outfit while also trying to eat more veggies.

I feel like a fraud, posting on a weight loss blog. I thought I had it figured out for a while. I know the science and logic of weight loss but when life throws stress and such into the mix, it changes everything. The only reason I'm posting on a weight loss blog is because I can't believe this is the end of the story. I refuse to accept being overweight. I am determined to find a way to figure this out and lose this weight again. Once I do, it might be nice to look back at these blogs and see the journey. I'm sure I'll know even more about weight loss by that time and can then hand that information on to you.

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